What can prenatal visits with your birth doula look like? Part 2

I typically provide two prenatal visits to clients each one allowing us time to get to know each other. I like to sit down with the expectant parents and do most of the following:

Visit Two:

•Check in. Get an update on how parents are feeling, emotionally, mentally, physical. Discuss excitement, fears, anxieties, etc. Understand how appts are going.

•Review final birth plan. Confirm updates and make sure doula has a copy.

•Run through of birth scenarios. When to contract your doula.

•Answer questions like: What happens if I go into spontaneous labor? What if my water breaks before contractions? What if I need a medically scheduled induction because I am approaching 42 weeks?

•Provide Natural Induction Methods via @ebbirth and @spinningbabies

•Hospital/Birthing Center Bag Packing

•Practice comfort measures such as counter pressure, hip squeezes and rebozo.

•Postpartum Care Plan
*Who/how will you be supported after baby comes?
*Do you have a postpartum doula? Pediatrician? Lactation Support? Pelvic Floor PT?

Your doula knows you, prioritizes you and supports you even before labor begins. 💕

***Second visits are typically done between 36 and 39 weeks.

What can prenatal visits with your birth doula look like? Part 1

What can prenatal visits with your birth doula look like?

I typically provide two prenatal visits to client.

Visit One:

•Check in. Get an update on how expectant parents are feeling emotionally, mentally, physically. Understand how dr/midwife appts are going.

•Assist with creation of birth plan. Help them understand the potential of what decision they will need to make before, during, and after labor and birth.

•Share non-bias evidence based birth research around pain management, labor assistance/intervention, and routine newborn care procedures.

•Recommendations for childbirth education classes.

•Answer questions and help prepare questions to take to provider at next visit.

Your doula can be your go-to contact for all birth resources.

Sharing Your Birth Story Matters

Did you have the opportunity to talk through and process your birth experience?

Sharing your birth story matters.

So often birth happens and then parents jump right into navigating the care of newborn. Loved ones are well-meaning and eagerly ask how the baby is doing but not much time is set aside to really allow parents to share their feelings and recollections of the labor and birth.

Your birth or postpartum doula can be a safe space to help you process and walk through all the emotions and memories of your birth.

Sometimes parents feels guilty for having a “good” birth experience and don’t want to brag or boast. Sometimes parents have a hard and traumatic birth experience and feel guilty for not just being “grateful” for their baby. A doula will listen and validate all of your feelings and help you navigate it all.

Your birth is your birth. Give yourself permission to feel and experience it all.

Doulas & Dads

How do I as a doula help dad and/or support person during labor so that they can best help their birthing loved?

This starts before labor begins when I provide education during our prenatal visits. I ask questions to learn the role they want to play. I have some dads that feel confident and are ready to roll up their sleeves and get dirty and I have other dads that prefer to take the backseat approach. There can be fear, lack of confidence or they know their loved one wants support outside of just them. Whatever role the dad wants to play, I show up to compliment. I do not replace or take over. I hold space for the entire family and help guide and normalize the process of birth and support their wishes. I bring my toolbox of tips and tricks based of our conversations and am there to whisper into dad’s ear when he has questions or concerns about his role in moment. Sometimes it is reminding them where to place his hands during a contraction, sometimes it is reminding them to tell the nurse a certain procedure is being refused and sometimes it is reminding them to simply sit down and eat a sandwich so they have the energy to support their birthing partner as labor goes on. We work together as a team!

Postpartum Preparation

Have you heard of the fourth trimester?

▪️In the United States the focus has been on pregnancy and birth, on the baby, and rarely include the other person that has also been born, the mother.

▪️In many other countries there are customs that support the mother, encourage healing, and help her focus on breastfeeding and getting to know her baby.

• In China, mothers have a “zuo yue zhi” or “sitting month” where they stay in their room and are cared for.

• In Vietnam, a woman traditionally goes home to live with her mother for 3 months after her baby is born.

• Somali mothers have a “afantanbah” and mothers in many Latin countries have “La Cuarentena” or 40 days of resting and being taken care of.

• In Bali, new mothers do not enter the kitchen until their baby’s umbilical cord stump has fallen off.

▪️We haven’t always had poor postpartum support in the United States, in Colonial American, woman who had just given birth would have a “lying in” period and would stay in bed for a month. During this time the new mother would rest, regain her strength, and bond with the baby as the women close to her took care of the household.⠀ Even now, in New Zealand, Holland, and England women are visited by a midwife, or a home health nurse, regularly to ensure mom is resting and healing and that breastfeeding is going well.

▪️Were you prepared for the fourth trimester?

▪️How did the changes that took place take you by surprise?

▪️What can you do to honor this time?

➖Staying in your bed, on your bed and then very near your bed for the first few weeks postpartum can make a huge difference in how you heal physically and emotionally.

➖I know this can be very difficult for some women when you have other children and no family nearby.

🔑Preparation is key.

➖Meal planning and prep can start in the 3rd trimester of pregnancy.

➖If you mom or mother-in-law aren’t available or supportive, is there a friend or other family member that is nurturing and helpful?

❤️Postpartum doulas can be affordable and amazing. What a great shower gift! They care for the mother so the mother can bond with her baby.

Reposted from @az.breastfedbabies

How to Deal with Postpartum Sleep Deprivation as a New Parent

TV and films have conditioned us to believe that once the pushing is over and the baby is born, most of the hard work is over. Clearly, those hot-shot execs have a lot to learn about parenting. Because after leaving the hospital, we then have to take care of our little bundles. (As if squeezing new life out of our bodies wasn't enough!)

But we're happy to do it. We want to be the best parents we can possibly be. In fact, sometimes we're so eager to be the perfect parents in those first few months that we neglect to take care of ourselves. We forget to eat properly, go outdoors for fresh air, practice basic hygiene like showering or brushing our teeth. And what we often neglect the most, which can be the most detrimental to our health, is sleep.

During the scattered hours when our newborn sleeps, we're up fretting about when they'll wake. Or we're washing a bundle of onesies. Or expressing bottles of milk like there's no tomorrow. All the advice around 'sleep when the baby sleeps' goes out the window as we turn into sleep-deprived, wild-eyed versions of our former selves.

Why do we need to sleep soundly?

Well, because sleep is vitally important for our mental and physical health at any stage of our lives. And it's especially important for new parents who have the added responsibility of caring for a brand-new munchkin.

When we don't get enough sleep, our weakened immune systems makes us more susceptible to viruses and infections. Sleep deprivation can lead to increased levels of stress, anxiety and depression. (It can even affect the quality of your breast milk, if you've made the decision to breastfeed.) Chronic poor-quality sleep has even been shown to increase the risk of conditions like diabetes, strokes, high blood pressure and heart disease. It's not exactly the healthiest state for great parenting!

Unfortunately, not getting enough sleep as a new parent seems to be accepted as the norm nowadays. In fact, parents joke that they'll sleep once their kid leaves home for college...how fair is that?!

There's got to be a better way.

Fortunately, there is! Here are three quick tips to help you beat postpartum sleep deprivation so you can be the healthier, happier parent that your baby needs.

Ways to deal with postpartum sleep deprivation:

Ask for help

Let's start with something that should be so easy but always seems impossible - asking for help. Many new parents, and especially women, feel that they're being judged-- by their peers, partners, step-moms, etc, etc. They think they have to be 'Supermom' and do it all alone. Let's get this straight, once and for all: You don't!

Being a parent is the hardest thing you will ever do. But you don't have to do it alone. Ask for help. And if help is offered, by all means, take it! It could mean asking your parents to babysit, or a neighbor taking junior for a walk around the block. In whatever form the help comes, as soon as you have a moment alone, get some rest.

Embrace the power nap

That well-meaning advice of 'sleep when the baby sleeps,' is repeated again and again for good reason. You need your rest -- more than your baby does!

So resist the urge to do all those chores that have been piling up, and put yourself to bed for a good, old-fashioned nap. Note: this does not mean checking social media, or binge-watching daytime TV, or gossiping with friends. These activities might help you to unwind somewhat, but they're not providing the benefits of proper shut-eye.

It might be hard to get to sleep at first; if this is the case, try lying still and just closing your eyes for a while. When you do this, you free yourself from distractions, helping you to re-energize for the rest of your day.

Do your research

If sleep deprivation has become a constant part of your life, it might be time to bring in the experts. Check out resources like The Sleep Advisorwebsite, where you can find tips relating to all things sleep. From meditation exercises to posts about finding the right snoozing position for your personality, they might just help you find the things you need for more sound sleep!

Start today.

Resolve to sleep better, and do everything you can to achieve this resolution. Trust me, you'll feel much more capable and less overwhelmed as a parent than you do right now! And you'll be in a better position to be the great parent that you want and your baby deserves. Sweet dreams!

About Giving Birth with Confidence

Giving Birth with Confidence is a Lamaze International blog to share trusted resources, stories, and answers for expecting parents. To share your birth story or contribute an article, please contact Cara Terreri.

Source: https://www.lamaze.org/Giving-Birth-with-Confidence/GBWC-Post/how-to-deal-with-postpartum-sleep-deprivation-as-a-new-parent